Thursday, April 16, 2015

Do you have patience?

Have you ever thought about how you ended up where you are at?  How every decision or event in your life built upon each other and led you to where you are.  How God leads you through trials but also provides miracles and joyous occasions.  How life can be so dang hard at times but to someone else you have everything they could possibly dream of.

I will say I am a very blessed person and it wouldn't be without my faith in Jesus that keeps me going.  I could blame many things in my life on other people not supporting me or directing me elsewhere, but it all boils down to me.  I made those decisions, good or bad.  I am the reason I am where God has me right now.  Do I have everything together, definitely not, but I try daily to live with a happy attitude and a happy heart and live my life for Jesus.

I personally have gone through my own struggles in life and have fled from God and ran away from my troubles because I was scared or unsure.  I have cried like a baby.  I have smiled with my whole face and heart.  I have hidden in darkness.  In the end I have always had to take one step at a time and pick myself up because there is always a light at the end of the tunnel to something bigger and better.

In my adult/marriage life I feel like God has tested me the most.  Patience has definitely been at the top of my list and a word that doesn't come easy.  Nick and I have been patient for a long time and we are still working on that word.  We have often felt God has given us a green flag and then in a matter of minutes we are knocked back down again.  I keep hearing the word "baby steps".  Yep that is what we have been doing for a long time - baby steps.  I'm tired of baby steps...I want to take a giant step.  I want a for sure thing.  I want this rock lifted off part of my shoulders.  I want to feel free again.  Then I'm back to the word patience again.  I know God's timing is perfect.  Nick and I have definitely been through that before.  So we keep trusting in God and praying, and having people pray for us that 2015 is going to have some great things in store for our family.

Many people asked how we ended up where we are today.  Nick and I are pretty simple people, with a lot of love to give, and an adventurous soul.  We live life to the fullest and enjoy meeting people on the way.  We've always had our dreams and what we want out of the life and for our family.  In January 2014 we hit rock bottom.

We broke straight through to the core and the ground shook.  It shook hard.  We were both scared and our dreams became crazy real.  Nick was sick.  Answers could not be found.  Many nights spent at the hospital and shuffling kids and getting myself to work.  We both felt helpless and lost.  Sure I probably told you things were fine, we were moving along, but deep down I was hurting hard.  I was terrified.  I couldn't possibly describe to you how Nick was feeling on the other end.  All I know is he had a lot of time to think.  God is good, he performs miracles and not always gives you answers.  And that is exactly what he did.

Four months later we sold our house and made our dreams into reality.  We knew making our dreams come true would come with a price.  We knew we would end up hurting people, but not intentionally.  We knew we would be leaving a great church family.  We knew we would be removing ourselves from our support group of friends.  From our support group, our family.  We knew financially we would be hurting again for a short time.  But that ground shook and God said follow your hearts and desires, listen to me for I have something better prepared for you and your family.

We prayed.  Oh how we prayed and questioned.  And things have slowly fell into place.  Is the puzzle finished yet? No, but it is close.  Will it ever be finished, probably not.  This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions, but we both have felt peace and we followed God.

I constantly refer to a letter my dad once wrote to me where in the letter he wrote:

".......................It truly is your world to conquer and make the most of it to whatever level you strive to pursue.  It is your future, and it is your dream from which to make reality....................Control your destiny and do it with character.  Enjoy and treasure every moment along the way......................"

You only live once and the choices you make will lead you on a path.  You might not have full control on the path you are led on, but trust in God and his path will ultimately be the right path.  That path may have struggles, but it may have amazing moments.  God never gives you more than you can overcome.  Overcome and become stronger.  Overcome and mentor others.  Overcome and see the beauty in life.

Nick and I are overcoming and we still need your prayers.  We are right where we need to be.  Enjoying our three little blessings.  Enjoying nature and God's beautiful land.  Enjoying and learning new things about each other.  Enjoying the simple life.  Starting new in a great church.  Living our life for God.  No doubt we are blessed and for that I'm thankful.  I'm thankful for everything that has led me to this moment because whether good or bad it has made me who I am today.  It has given me these three blessings.